


Frerard Crack Fic

by DaisukiRose



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, Don't Ask, Frozen (2013) References, I Blame Tumblr, I don't know, Knight!Gerard, M/M, Prince!Frank, Tangled (2010) References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5375819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisukiRose/pseuds/DaisukiRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't even know. Don't ask me why I wrote this. Just read it. Cx</p>
            </blockquote>





	Frerard Crack Fic

Once upon a time, maybe not so long ago, there was a hella cute prince, but his mom was all evil and shit and locked him up in a really cold tower. His mom, from now on out called Mommy, called him “Rapunzel”, but he put his hands on his hips and did a sassy hair flip and was all like “Mom. My name’s Frank. Get it right, bitch.”  
That was another thing. Mommy wouldn’t let Frank cut his hair. She constantly called him her daughter and petted his really long black hair, which was creepy. Mommy left the tower a lot, which was weird considering that she never trusted Frank. But here he was, dangling his weirdly fast-growing hair out the window of his tower, staring off into the distance and pretending he was in some really cliché music video. He heard a horse whinny from somewhere out in the trees, and then there was a knight in not-so-shiny armor that stumbled into his clearing. “Holy shit!” The knight said. “A random tower! In the middle of these perfectly normal woods!” He took off his knight helmet, putting it down and looking up the tower to see Frank. “And a princess! What le fuck?!”  
“Fuck you, I’m male.” Frank said haughtily, flipping down his hair. “Why are you here?”  
“I’m the hero, remember?” The knight said, running a hand through his red hair. “I’m Knight Gerard, but YOLO, call me Gee.”   
“Hi, Gee.” Prince Frank said. “Aren’t you supposed to be saving me?”  
“Yeah. I was about to get to that. You don’t happen to have some conveniently placed ladders, do you?”  
“Of course I do, what else would be laying around a random abandoned tower?” Prince Frank said, pointing to the bushes. “Over there. Bring them over and I’ll climb down.”  
“Kay, bby.” Knight Gerard said, picking up the conveniently placed ladder and leaning it against the side of the tower. “Now climb down, and we’ll live happily ever after and have all the buttsex and rule a kingdom and shit.”  
“Sounds great.” Prince Frank climbed down and jumped into Knight Gee’s arms, grinning. “So what kingdom do you rule?”  
“Shit, I was hoping you had one.” Knight Gee replied.  
“Nah man, I was kidnapped as a tiny kid, so my daddy dearest runs that big kingdom over there where there’s, like, search parties for me and shit.” Prince Frank grinned. “So when do we ride off into the sunset?”  
“Not yet.” Knight Gerard answered. “Look! It’s ur mom!”   
“Holy shit!” Prince Frank yelled, flailing. “Mom, it’s not what it looks like! I’m totally not escaping with this bangin’ hot knight right here!”  
“lol ok kid” Mommy replied, walking back from the trees. “To be clear, though, I’m not even your mom. But I’m the biggest baddie in this story, so I’ve got to, like, chase you around and act scary, kay?”  
“That seems reasonable.” Knight Gee and Prince Frank said, running around and through the woods while Mommy (who is secretly an evil time lord witch) chased them.   
Eventually, they were chased to town, where they ran to the castle and somehow got in without being stabbed. “Oi, guards, I’m the lost prince!” Prince Frank yelled, striking a pose. “And this is my bae. We’re back!”  
“Back?” One guard asked, lifting up his guard’s helmet. “I’m supposed to be gruff and manhandle you and shit and then bring you to your dad. The name’s Pete, by the way, Pete Wentz.”  
“OK Petey.” Prince Frank said. “Just so long as there’s time left at the end of all of that for me and my bby I met legit 5 minutes ago to bang in this nice expensive palace.”  
“Course there is.” Pete said, shoving them along a corridor. “Let’s go meet your weirdly young and dashing father and grieving-even-after-like-20-years mother!”  
“lol cool.” Prince Frank said as Pete slapped handcuffs on him and Knight Gee. “Ooh, kinky, Petey, can I keep a pair of these for unrealistically rough sex?”  
“lol yeah don’t tell your dad.” Pete said, knocking on a door and opening it. “Hey, King Patrick, my whore, I found ur son and his boyfriend of five minutes, but I locked them in handcuffs for dramatic effect.”  
“Thanks, Pete.” King Patrick of Sasslandia said, standing out of his throne and taking off his golden fedora. “I recognize my son immediately, so you can let him go and we’ll all cry and have a happy reunion and HOLY SMOKES is my son’s boyfriend that wanted criminal?! Pardon him of all charges immediately!”  
“Yeah, sorry, Frankie, I lied, I’m not a knight, I’m actually a thief? And I’ve been trying to steal your family’s treasure for years. BUT I changed my ways when I met you six minutes ago and I’m suddenly the biggest goodie in the story.” THIEF Gee said, grinning.  
“Oh, okay, that makes sense. Let’s all overdramatically sob now.” Prince Frank decided, clinging to his real mother and bawling. “Oh, Mom and Dad, I’ve missed you a hella lot even though, like, I was 3 months old when I was prince-napped and don’t remember you lol”  
“Seems legit.” Queen Hayley Williams said, patting her son on the head. “You need a haircut.”  
“lol I do. But can we do that after my boi and I settle in and fuck? There hasn’t been any sex for me in like, all of my life.”  
“Of course.” Queen Hayley said, sending them off to have gay sex on some expensive silk bedding that she knew they would ruin, with all her Queenly powers.  
And so they did.  
And after that, Prince Frank got his hair cut but not too short, and put on new clothes and a crown and was like “Hey, Gee, YOLO look at me I actually DID inherit a kingdom! What random luck!”  
“I KNOW, right?!” Gee said, laughing. “Lucky me, I found your tower and saved you from that fugly witch.”  
“Hey, she was my mom for like 20 years, don’t diss her even if I hate her.”  
“lol ok. Do we get married now?”  
“I think we do.” Prince Frank said. “Cuz, y’know, my rents the Royals are totally chill and will let us get married.”  
Suddenly, Elsa ran in and held up a perfectly poised finger. “You can’t marry someone you just met!” She enunciated like a fucking lady.  
“But ELSA!” Prince Frank whined while Gerard was staring and in awe of her awesomeness. “We met like 2 hours ago!”  
“Good point, never mind lol you can go.” She said, leaving.  
“Dude, was that ELSA?!” Gee asked, eyes wide.  
“lol yeah she’s my aunt’s cousin, 6 times removed.” Prince Frank waved his hand in the ‘You know how these things are’ sort of way.  
“Oh duh, I knew that. But anyways, wanna get hitched?”  
“lol ok.”  
And so they jumped out of the castle window and landed on a giant pillow, getting on two matching feather-boa-wearing glitter unicorns and riding off into the sunset.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I don't even know. Cx Comments? Kudos? IDK. I wrote this at like 2:30 AM, so let's not judge.  
> *Jumps out that window, lands on third feather-boa-wearing unicorn, and rides into the sun, turning into a huge explosion of glitter*


End file.
